Gym, you're awkward.

Here's the deal...I live in a rather large apartment community that has a lovely, smallish gym, equipped with enough cardio, and some weight stuff. I call it "weight stuff" because I don't "do weights."  I should "do weights," because my arms have the strength of a feeble cat, but I don't. ANYWAY, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, etiquette in the gym. People are weird. People are SO WEIRD! Okay, so when I go in the gym and no one is there, liiiiike, I'm alone...as in THE ONLY PERSON IN THE ROOM, I will take the channel changer and keep it on my treadmill, so whoever comes in next, knows I am watching the TV. Easy enough. I would never ask someone to change the channel, if they were clearly there before me and obviously watching something. If they happen to come in after me, well they just have to deal with the fact I'm watching "Real Housewives of Atlanta" or "Say Yes to the Dress Atlanta" or "Little People" or "E! News" or maybe even some "House Hunters International". If they're lucky. Sure, I recognize that not everyone likes these shows, but that's too bad. I got here first. Poo-poo on you. You can have the changer when I am finished. Seems fair, right? First come, first serve. Simple. Fair. Done. But nooooooo, NOT DONE! Sometimes, I will get asked "Are you watching this?" In which case I will smile and say "Yes." The conversation ends there...usually. Unless the person asking me this is an unstable, anorexic, self-absorbed, socially inappropriate BIOTCH!

 Ooooookay, so this one time I was minding my business, running along, and this woman comes in, stands behind my treadmill, and I can see her in the mirror looking at the TV and I can sense her frustration with the fact I have the channel changer. So, I wait for the passive aggressive "Oh, are you...are you watching this?" Which happens. And I answer "Yes, I am." Does it end there? Oooohh, nooooo. She stands by my machine, almost in shock that I did not give in to her passive aggressive attempt at taking control of the TV. I can almost see steam coming out of her ears. She's going to try again. This lady is going to try again?!

*Perhaps I should mention this was during the Olympics. And yes, a lot of people want to watch the Olympics. I, however, happened to be heavily engrossed in the E! True Hollywood Story of Hugh Hefner, as was the woman running on the machine next to mine. Moving on...

This biotch lady then approaches me and says "Well, can I switch to the Olympics?" WTF?! I JUST TOLD YOU I WAS WATCHING THE TV! YOU CAN HAVE IT WHEN I'M DONE! SERIOUSLY?! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY?! I didn't want to get into a fight about it, so I just(maaaaybe with more than a bit of attitude) said "Uh, sure. Yeah, you can watch whatever you want." And handed over the channel changer. The woman on the machine next to me had my back. She leaned over and whispered to me"You know what I do? I just say 'You can have it when I'm done.' That'll do it." Damn. I totally should have said that. Next time! NEXT TIME!

*And then she turned it to the Olympics and it was CURLING! Who watches curling?!

Riveting.