Morgan's Coping Mechanisms

Okay, look.  I'll admit it, when a guy breaks-up with me(keep in mind, the longest relationship I've had, over the past four years is a few three monthers.  And a lot of dating.  Too much dating.) I get sad, then I get mad, and then I decide he MUST be gay, otherwise he would not be able to resist my charms;  wit, beauty, alabaster skin, strikingly blue eyes(albeit thanks to tinted contacts.  My eyes are blue, just not super-human-goddess-blue), intelligence, a dazzling smile, nodaddyissues, I mean COME ON!  But sometimes people just don't fall in love with you. Or me.  And there is no point in wallowing or playing the whole "poor me" game, because that is just lame. And I am not lame.  So, naturally, my coping mechanism is deciding they must not like sleeping with women.  Seriously, if sleeping with me did not get them, hook, line and sinker, it's the only explanation.  And this TOTALLY works...until they start a new relationship.  With a woman.  And then they fall in love with said woman.  And I am left thinking "Oh, she is quiet and sweet, and has bigger boobs than me."  Oh yeah, and he's not gay.